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A seemingly haunted house, a Metabilis-3 crystal and creepy Cronenbergs all add to the ambiance

Scotland, 1974, and the wind blows high and the wind blows low. Professor Alec Palmer is trying to rebuild himself as a gentleman after being harrowed for king and country, maintaining a respectful distance from his willing assistant Emma Grayling as they investigate paranormal goings-on at his remote mansion.

Will she as an empath and he as a professor of psychology never intuit each other’s repressed feelings and progress to going bump in the night? Enter Doc and Clara, ghost-hunting health and safety pals from the Ministry, to make this match while finding the Witch of the Well without a well who probably isn’t a witch.

Thumps, cold spots, and clammy handshakes ensue as the Spam-supplied spirit leads them a scary dance, and The Doctor proves he’ll go to the ends of the earth just to solve a mystery. But exactly who will be bumping uglies and playing hide the sausage once they’ve got to the shapely bottom of all this?

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