N099 Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

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Time Zombies, a not-quite-paranoid-enough android and a big friendly button

Big bruv, kid bruv and robo bruv are wielding an illegal magno-grab to salvage the not-exactly-derelict spacecraft that is the TARDIS. Coincidentally, in an effort to make peace between his companion and his timeship, The Doctor has just deactivated the shield oscillators and given Clara the reins, which gets them sucked straight into the salvagers’ junk hole.

With its oscillating engine bits damaged, the TARDIS is now destined to self-destruct. Plus, it’s filling up with poisonous fumes and Clara has been left to roam the TARDIS innards on her own. Plus, time zombies have suddenly appeared in there as well and are out to get anything un-zombied.

A race against the clock thus starts, as The Doctor must enlist the services of the three bruvs who got them in this jam in the first place, to travel deep into the heart of his timeship and save both it and the impossible girl.


And here’s a side-by-side comparison of the two telescopes, in Tooth and Claw and this one, respectively:

3 Responses to “N099 Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS”

  1. Michael Ridgway | @Bad_Movie_Club

    Things I liked:

    – Gory-scary Time Zombies!
    – The Eye of Harmony! First appearance since the Seventh Doctor’s 1996 TV Movie!
    – Snippets of the expanded Tardis. More please.
    – The History of the Time War. Oooh Ahhh! (But who wrote this, & is it really over?)
    – Guest Star: the sacred lighty tree from Avatar!
    – Clara Appreciation Society Moment of the Week: cross Clara smacking the Doctor.


    – “He’s a human. Tricky is a goddamn human!” – aka Eyeballgate II. ‘Android Invasion’, you’ve been stripped of your award for dumbest twist.
    – The Official Star Trek Voyager Reset Button. Cheats!
    – Retcon 1) more expendable salvagers to create a massive multi-limbed Time Zombie!
    – Retcon 2) Exploring the wreck of a baddie Timelord’s tardis. The Doctor would have been in the dark as much as the others. And it could have been doing some serious sicko timey-whimy shit to the cast.

    Summary: for the love of god, would somebody please stop M.Night. Shyamalan getting access to the script cupboard.

    Rating 2.7/5 unexplained but scary-ass Time Zombies – “Brains! Past-Self Brains!….”

  2. Star Wars Syl | @StarWarsSyl

    I have very mixed feelings about this episode. I did not enjoy the guest characters, and that backstory for Tricky was… so awful… and cruel… and just… really uncomfortable.

    I’m also puzzled why all the burning people didn’t, you know, fall down and die, and instead were trying to kill the living. Why, exactly? Do they crave brains?

    I also want to know about the piece of fabric that fell on the console of the TARDIS at the very end of the episode. I thought for sure the Doctor would pick it up, and it would be something to do with the season arc, or the next episode, or something, but then the episode just ended.

    On the other hand, I liked seeing the Doctor’s old baby crib again, and Amy’s model TARDIS, and we finally got to see the swimming pool! I loved the Encyclopedia bottles, and the little letters of mist coming out of them.

    It’s just… people with burns that severe don’t go running around trying to murder other people. Even in space. I know this because I watched Revenge of the Sith fifteen times. The monsters in the TARDIS should at least have black armor and noisy breathing apparatuses. And preferably capes.
    1.8 out of 5 bottles of knowledge. And a lot of corridors.

  3. Tracey | @yecartniatnuof

    Eleven’s obsession with figuring Clara out is really beginning to bug me. At the end of The Snowmen when he decides to try to find this girl again it’s kinda sweet. Maybe they are meant to be together somehow! He had such chemistry with brainy Oswin and impulsive Governess Clara. He says he knows “who” and thinks if he found her twice he’ll find her again. Will there be romance? Kooky adventures?? But once he finds a third Oswald girl he suddenly suspects something nefarious. It’s like dude, you wanted her along and now you act like she’s gonna kill you? His relationship with Clara Prime is actually super messed up.

    It’s a great week for messed up relationships, as a pair of brothers convince the youngest he’s really an Android. If you notice at the end, the photo is restored. I’m thinking the rewritten timeline contains some sort of post-hypnotic suggestion resulting in the pair never having fooled Tricky. Nonetheless, his memory loss makes him unfit as captain, and his prosthetics make him robotic, resulting in Bram teasing him as Gregor defends him.

    And finally I’ll note that the last scene appears to show Clara having just showered, which strikes me as very intimate. She’s both trusting and flirty, hinting that she’s considering a relationship- or are they already in one off-camera? Is this a good idea given all the suspicion he holds onto?

    Rating: eyeroll emoji


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