The Eleventh Doctor interrupts some Pizza, Booze, Telly in this incredibly polarising episode of NewWho
An epic romp and the episode that should have been called “Just let it go to voicemail”
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All the Doctor’s previous companions of the week come together for one time wifey art heist of Vincent’s maddest master piece.
A confluence of clues draw The Doctor and Amy to Stonehenge in 102 AD, where all of the Doctor’s foes turn up just for the crack.
The TARDIS is destined to explode and in a seemingly unrelated turn of events, no matter how rigidly Amy stands in the way, Rory’s hand is also destined to explode.
The Doctor visits Stonehenge and is put in a box.
Things I liked a lot:
1. River hamming it up as Cleopatra.
2. The reveal that the Romans are Autons! (more Autons please).
3. Cybermen being scary! The terrifying Cyberhead attacking Amy reminded me of John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’. The bit where the skull falls out is the stuff of nightmares.
4. The twist / trap and the musical montage of the Doctor being dragged into the Pandorica.
5. The fist-clenching Cybermen that says “seal the Pandorica”. Fist-clenching Cybermen were all the rage in 1980s classic Who, last seen in 7th Doctor ‘Silver Nemesis’ when the Cyberleader issues fist-clenching order “Eradicate them!” against a bunch of Neo-Nazis, who are duly eradicated. Wonderful!
Beefs:
1. Auton Rory. Glad as I am to see Rory again, how exactly did this happen? Rory was wiped from existence. Why is he in a photograph in Amy’s room?
2. The whole ‘believe it and it will come true’ bollocks, last seen with the rubbish flying Doctor in ‘Last of the Time Lords’.
3. This is an awesome cliffhanger, but I anticipate it will be fudged in part II. Particularly Amy’s ‘death’.
Questions:
I’m assuming the league of villains is a temporary arrangement. It would be sad to see the Daleks and Cybermen going soft on their core principles of exterminating/assimilating all other life.
“Silence will Fall!” . Do we ever find out who says this?
3.1/5 Decapitated loony Cyberheads.
Ok then…here we get the first taster of a Steven Moffat two part finale.
It’s all kinda intriguing to begin with. We sort of get a greatest (or not so greatest) hits of some of the previous episodes…there’s even a bit of Churchill..so will we be hearing his voice on the podcast/docpast again?
It’s good to see River again (once that unconvincing wig comes off) and there are some really great scenes with the disembodied cyberman in the cave underneath Stonehenge. Rory’s back, but still hasn’t grown a pair. I can’t say I like Smith’s speechifying all that much, but River mentions the Draconians (from Frontier in Space) and even Chelonians have turned up..they’ve only appeared in books so far.
And it looks like they’ll only ever appear in books because when they land it’s just a bunch of aliens we’ve all seen before, plus some extras that are autons…but might as well just be normal people. (also, is it me or is it kinda strange to see the silurians there?..I didn’t think they’d been established as go to bad guys) So…all of this has been a trap, created by them. How on earth have they put all of this together?
Then for some reason Amy’s dead and the TARDIS has exploded…
Uh..? Colour me interested and a bit entertained.
2.3
Good Things:
1) Liz Ten, Vincent, Bracewell and Winnie team up to save the Doctor, and Rory executes Order 66.
2) Is the handsome time agent who lost his gadget— and wrist— Captain Jack? And if it’s not, may I please headcanon that it is?
And 3) This episode just underlined my absolute love for River Song.
Alarming Things:
There were a couple of terms that bothered me. Cyberthing, and underhenge. The first sounds like it came from an adult toy shop, and the other sounds like something you’d whisper in alarm: “Your underhenge is showing!”
Disappointing Thing:
I was mildly disappointed that the episode did not address what kind of giant-ass spiders could make such massive and thick webs all over the cavern. But, hey— the important thing is that some fruit flies don’t mate for life.
Embarrassing Thing:
That glorious speech the Doctor gives— “let somebody else try first,”— gave me chills the first time I heard it. It felt so damn good, I wanted to cheer, and the music tells you it’s this great moment for him. Except… on repeat viewing… it’s perhaps the most embarrassing speech he’s ever given, considering the circumstances. And all the badguys know it, and the Doctor hasn’t figured out yet he’s wearing no clothes and the class is laughing.
Perfect Thing:
Watching the night sky undo itself, and then the music just stopping for those last few moments.
I’m going to give this episode a 4.0 out of 5 missing giant spiders, because I love angst, and Rory delivered it in spades. And because of River’s hair, let’s be real.
The Universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall. Sounds like a nice three series arc. That’s not what happens, of course. While series 5 is still the strongest of Moffats time as showrunner, in my opinion, it also wrestles with the beginnings of his penchant for “Big Things”.
Leading us all by the nose, this episode tells us that bad things are about to happen, and everyone connected to The Doctor in this series so far knows about it, except The Doctor. In its effort to be clever, it comes off as a bit of an aggressively shaken soda: all fizz, no pop.
Listen, I enjoy clever, thoughtful, layered character development and “less is more/show vs tell” storytelling. The idea that The Doctor is the most feared thing in the Universe is interesting, but i didn’t feel any investment in it. It was dropped in our laps for this episode. It just didn’t capture me.
I realize I may be in the minority here, but it’s just ok. Despite some nods to some classic film moments (The Thing/CyberHead & The Mummy/Cyberman chase), and some funny dialogue (as usual, by Matt Smith), “The Pandorica Opens” is a glitzy, flashy entrance to a two-part finale with big odds, and an even bigger job to bring the whole series home. Big speeches. Big set pieces. Big Deal.
3.2/5
Rory Williams is still the most interesting character in this series, even when he’s a robot assassin made of plastic.
Overall:
Ambitious visually and plot-wise but falls a bit flat in payoff, which won’t come until next week anyway.
Missed opportunity- (the underhenge)
Here’s my rewrite:
Doc- The underhenge!
Amy- What? You made that up.
Doc- Course I did. Catchy right?
That “Let someone else try first” speech is right up there with the speech he gives prisoner zero. I would like to give such a speech someday.
The bit with spoilers:
So where is River in her own timeline?
River has only recently met the Doctor and shortly thereafter, married him.
But she should remember Amy’s house as she was over there a lot as Mels. Maybe, it was too many years ago?
This one’s not much of a spoiler:
As for Rory (who she should DEFINITELY remember) there is no evidence she actually saw his face- she just put two and two together upon seeing the photo of him looking all Roman.
Rating: I am the Doctor!!