The Doctor, Susan, Barbara and Ian arrive on the planet Skaro, where war has been raging between the Thal and the Daleks for 500 years.
The Doc’s now a mere human; Susan should be in primary school; Barbara is her sister; and Ian just wants to tap-dance. What the actual f**k?!
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Dr (Hugh?) Who, PhD, a regular Joe-Goofy-Inventor, is enjoying a pleasant read in the sitting room with his two granddaughters, Susan Who and Barbara Who, when the latter’s boyfriend, Ian Chesterton, arrives to give his girlfriend a box of chocolates, but apparently not do anything else with her, because there’s no mention of dinner plans, theatre tickets or even a stroll. Also, not a hug or a kiss passes between them, so it appears they have the most platonic relationship any screen couple has ever had in the history of cinema.
Ok, so what ensues is a remake, more or less, of the 2nd ever William Hartnell serial, The Daleks. Before listening to this podcast episode, you may want to have a listen to our review of the original.
Messiest TARDIS ever... Barbara's hair is predictable humongous, though.
Ahh, a living, identifiable Earth flower... on an entirely different planet, where all botanical life has been eradicated.
The Thal are pretty, er... well, no, they're not. Not in this one.
Susie writes a letter (in the Thal language, one might presume) next to no less than three state-of-the-art Dalek Lava Lamps.
Again... Which freaking language did little Susie write her effing note in?
Dalek hand. I don't have a joke for this one.
Ian spots a Dalek sinker in the dirty swamp water by the sewage outlet, after deciding to wash his face in it.
On a more positive note, check out this gorgeous matte painting.
I kid you not. Fast-forward to this bit and you'll see the Thal at the bottom accidentally grabbing on to Ian's shoe!
Left to right: (1) Ian's grandpa ass – (2) Barbara's amazing ass! – (3) Twig stuck in Thal's ass
Dalek Commander from the POV of his balls.
Possibly the only 'I refuse to catch that rope' scene to ever appear in a film.
So apparently we're dumb enough to watch this stupid film... (cont'd)
(cont'd) ... and so is Dalek #347.
Those centurions look pretty huge. ('The Romans' meets 'Planet of Giants'?)
I’m going to go ahead and start out by saying I do not like the Cushing movies. I found them completely boring and pointless. Sorry, if you liked them.
I’m going to be honest, I haven’t watched this movie In a few months, so my review might not be accurate. However, from what I remember, these movies were badly recreated replicas of the original serials. It’s better for me just to make a list here.
Things I did not like:
-The acting
-The characters being played by different people. I realize the doctor has been played by 13 people, but each doctor has been very different. This is just Peter Cushing trying to be the first doctor.
-the Daleks shoot gas?
-Why were the Thals wearing wavy make up?
-Susan is 8.
Things I did like-
-the TARDIS interior.
-it’s kind of cool seeing the stories in color.
As you can see, I’m not a big fan. I give this movie a 1.0. And that’s being generous.