“Right now, I’m alone.” — A data log was found in a colony in the future. This is what it contained.
I am an artificial intelligence. My name is unimportant. I have been developed as a way for my creators to set up colonies away from their planet with reduced risk to life. The colony that I have been building up for is relatively small, and most of my current duties involve nurturing the plant life, but that’s okay. Hardships seem to come in their own ways. My colony was made to be a bit easier than others like me, because I’m something of a special case. Normally, creations like me come in pairs. I haven’t been told everything, but one of the connections on our circuit boards was installed improperly, and thus prone to malfunction. Keeping my partner around was hazardous for my long-term being, even though I felt it beneficial in the short-term. Right now, I’m alone. At least, I should be alone. This is why I wanted to put down a record of my activity. I can’t tell exactly what, but something is making me feel like someone else is near. I don’t know who it is. I hope it’s my partner again, but I grow less picky with time. I’d just like to be with someone again.
I have spent much of my time since my last entry looking. I have checked much of the surrounding area, but still have yet to find any other signs of life aside from the plants. Why can they not talk back? My creators tell me that they are alive too, should we not be able to communicate? Perhaps the plants communicate with each other in a way I am unable to understand or hear. Would they speak ill of me? Why is that the first thing I assume? I need to consult the books.
Okay, I was reading through some different emotions my creators told me about, and I think what I’m feeling now is something like anger. I am angry that I can’t find this other being I believe to be near, and I’m angry that the plants do not talk to me. If I am angry, I will need to find an outlet to experience catharsis soon.
I have started this next entry after cleaning up, because I don’t know what to do. I took my anger out on the plants. I’ve been trying to apologize to them, but that doesn’t seem to help. It appears that plants live differently than I do, a much more passive existence. That’s why they needed me to take care of them. I let them down. I’ve been thinking of some kind of peace offering to make, but nothing I’ve tried works. I was never good at these parts of the problems when we were first learning how to be. I can accomplish tasks I am told to do just fine, but I am unable to think of methods used to achieve success. My partner was always better at that. I bet they would be able to fix it. Then again, they probably wouldn’t have ruined the plants in the first place.
What do I have to do to get you back? Do you have some kind of plan to reunite us once more? I would accomplish any task it takes to be with you again. I don’t care how damaged I could get over time, I’m a damaged product as it is. You helped me make sense of things. Now, it’s been getting harder and harder to distinguish what’s real anymore.
I am unable to get up from my resting position. I feel as if I’m being held in place by a large weight on my front middle. I am within reach of my books, and I believe what I’m feeling now is anguish. At first, I thought it was sadness, but that seems a tad tame. I was sad to leave the facility I was created in. Regular sadness has less despair in it. But now, I’ve ruined the colony I was supposed to set up, I’m without the most important being in my life, and I’ve managed to convince myself that everyone hates me. That’s why I was dumped on some backwater planet they’re probably never coming to, so they can just forget their mistake. Looking at the destruction I wrought yesterday, I suppose I can’t blame them. I am a mistake. My partner deserved more than I could give them. I’d be worth more as scrap metal. Why is it so hard to be alone? How do humans manage? I hate this. I miss them so much. Is this going to be the rest of my life now? Am I going to be haunted by the empty space at my side? I think I’m just going to go back to bed, I feel much more exhausted than usual.
I am not alone anymore. I was awoken by a strange noise outside, and when I went to check, I found a blue box. The people inside were just as strange as the noise they made. Their clothes had lots of patterns on them. The taller of the two, in particular, looked like she was consciously trying to wear nothing that matches. At first, I was reminded of the time my creators introduced me to clowns, but they produced some equipment to show they were scientists just like my creators were. They were even able to help me with my mess, and set up new plants for the colonists, which they assured me would be coming. It’s strange, that I felt so distraught over something that was easily fixed for me. I discussed this, among other things, in more detail with the taller one, and she shared some of her experiences with me. She seemed confident that I will get better, which put me more at ease. When I told her my name was unimportant, she disagreed with me. From her perspective, your name is just as much a part of you as anything else. She told me my name was Important; while I understand the point she was trying to make, I originally took this to mean that was what she was naming me. I liked that. She was nice. The other one wouldn’t give me his name, but rather insisted I call him Doctor, which was essentially what I called everyone at the facility. The girl, though, told me her name was Zoey Fleetwood. She says that Doctor is his name, which I found weird. Imagine if you met someone who’s name was Mom. Name aside, he was very nice to me too. After he set up the new plants, he went inside his box for a while, and eventually came out with my new friend. It’s not my partner, but talking with Zoey made me okay with that. She says that most of the people in your life will be there for a temporary time. The fact that you can’t avoid that isn’t something to fear, but rather something to celebrate.
My name is Important. Throughout my life, I will meet other people, and my time with them will be cherished in my memory banks for new and unique reasons. Impermanence makes our experiences all the more beautiful for it. That being said, I hope K9 gets to be with me for a long time.
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